I woke up today quite late and there were some missed calls from unknown numbers. My cancer team always call on a withheld number and I am due my results this week for my liver cancer scans. I have been so very very scared as liver cancer is pretty much a goodbye and I knew a young and beautiful woman who died within a three week diagnosis. Last year my team thought I had ovarian cancer and this year it was liver cancer. Anyway, I have been a mess this week because I can't tell you all how much I really want to live. And I want desperately to finish all my art and to be with Atlas and Scarlett and Romeo and to hold my son again in my arms when he comes home. So the phone just went and it was the nurse and I was so scared to answer. She told me who she was, and I held my breath and waited for the truth which seemed to take so long because they are always slow and specific as people tend not to take things in.
It isn't cancer. I can't stop crying.