SEO Optimisation and the death of decent British writing.

I recently worked with a web builder who excelled at his job.

We sorted out images for the website,, and descriptions and then worked on SEO optimisation, alternative texts, meta tags, even more descriptions and various other magical things that were guaranteed to increase traffic to my site.

The web designer, a man who exuded Godlike qualities (because all men in web design do), started to get on my nerves. It was probably not his fault. After all, if you can do this stuff it must be so hard to avoid the arrogance historically exhibited in great leaders, like Napoleon and Caesar. I have not met a male web designer who does not over state his self importance. 'Up their own arse's' springs to mind, but I doubt that quote has as much SEO success as 'increase your SEO success' does.

Anyway, he also told me that my descriptions were too....wait for it....'flowery'.

'OH'. said I, 'But I got an A in English'.

Now as I update my WordPress blog daily (because you must otherwise Google thinks you died in the night), I am reminded by some awful app that my sentences are not 'passive' and that this will affect my traffic.

As a semi retired Dominatrix I am upset by this suggestion. Plus, despite reading the definition of passive sentences, I still can't quite grasp it. Am I too passive, are they too passive, is everything too passive, or not passive enough?

So I am on strike. I will not change my words or my grammar to draw the readers in. I will revolt against the tide of business in these stressful Brexit times. Google will not change the way I write, after all, I am British.

NB. Here is the analysis for this post

Analysis resultsLearn more about the readability analysis(Opens in a new browser tab)

Problems (1)

Passive voice: 26.3% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

Improvements (1)

Sentence length: 29.4% of the sentences contain more than 20 words, which is more than the recommended maximum of 25%. Try to shorten the sentences.


I have been advised by a good friend and writer ....

Khalil Goddard Active sentence: "Pasha Du Valentine whipped the swine." Passive sentence: "The swine was whipped by Pasha Du Valentine."

Finally I understand.

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